Story of A Little Silly Heart

Day one

Every day has its worth for making of one’s life; today is very special to me for I have met you- my life. I am thinking why we didn’t meet earlier? Why God kept you hidden from me? It’s unfair. But my silly heart says ‘still it’s not too late.’ Thanks God then for showing me my life today.

I don’t know if it matters to you to see me: it means lot to me- you are the one I have been looking for.

You are wonderful as my silly heart puts it. You look really great with your hair- dense and smooth, skin- fair and soft, smile- strange and beautiful, voice- low, slow and sweet, and your shy-shy nature which make you a perfect girl.

Day two

I wonder if you ever feel that I am around. Know what- I am doing some silly things nowadays. Actually it started with my wretched watch which is old and wouldn’t tell me time properly. I was thinking of changing it, but it did me a trick- a million dollar trick. With dark dial inside the glass, my old watch works like a mirror. While in class, I would adjust the angle by bending my hand and it would capture your image like a mirror. And, you know what I do- I would watch you so long as class continues. I am very sorry but I can’t help it.

Day three

You are becoming dearer with every passing day. But to my ill luck, some unknown forces have stopped me from playing that silly but a lovely game with my otherwise old watch. What devil must have entered the heads of our teachers that they divided our batch into two groups- that too from roll number 35 and onward as separate group. Now that we are in separate groups except of course in Chemistry practical and that I don’t have much time of seeing you, you are becoming more charming and beautiful.

I long to chat and laugh with you, but, I’m afraid any such move from my side may not upset you. The innermost part of my silly heart knows that you are someone very special to me. I would rather keep silence and watch you from the distance than to annoy you and lose you forever.

To be very frank, nowadays, I’m a worried boy. It’s because I see you very little and with great difficulty. And my silly heart tells me that you may, in course of time, hide from me altogether.

Day four

For a month or so I haven’t seen you much. But you came to my dreams quite often. In dream I’m a different boy- I told you that I love you. In real life, I’m reserved type and very self conscious- my mouth failed even to ask, “How are you?” I wonder if I’ll be able to tell you “I love you?”

Actually, I have written a letter and just waiting for a right moment to hand it over to you.

Day five

Today something in me urged me to meet you. With great difficulty I could manage to go to your hostel to meet you. I couldn’t think of anything to say nor did I have any bahana (excuse) of meeting you. I thought you will receive me well, just out of courtesy may be, and will give me little of your precious time. But your face was telling a different story.

“Yes” you said, “can I help you?”

“Is Meena there- will you call her, please?” I could say this much was a big relief for me. You know Meena is my first cousin. She is very fond of me. We are more of friends than brother and sister. She is just about a year older and is one class senior.

As you lost out of my sight into the corridor of hostel, my little silly heart was clueless, for the first time, about what I should have said.

“I’m so happy you come” Meena said as soon as she saw me. “Actually I was just about to go to your hostel to ask you to buy me a cup of tea… Got money?”

“Come along” I told her.

As we were strolling out of hostel campus towards the canteen, about half a kilometre away, she did all the talking and I was lost in thought. She looked up at my face once and smiled for herself. Goodness! I knew she read me again.

Day six

I was late for class today because I woke up late. I went to bed early, at eight, the last night and woke up at nine this morning. Thirteen hours! I was no less than Kumbakaran of Ramayana, in this modern day. I felt very angry on myself.

By the time I reached the college, I had already missed my Chemistry class. Later on, after Zoology class I was heading for library when Meena shouted at me “Obing, won’t you come with us to canteen?”

What a luck! You were with her and it was an opportunity of lifetime for me to getting myself into talking term with you. But when we were sitting in the canteen I was fumbling with words again- you must have noticed that. You were not talking either.

Meena broke the silence- remember what she said. “Obing, tell me-did you come to see me or Minnie yesterday?” She said and smiled. I could see you smiling too. I felt like fool and couldn’t say a word. “Just kidding, right” she said and roared into laughter. “What’s wrong with you guys- you are in same batch but sitting like strangers? Talk something.”

You were smiling. I too forced myself to smile but I hadn’t recovered from the shock yet. Thanks to Meena though, she somehow set us talking.

“You were late for Chemistry class today?” you said after sometime.

“Yes.” I nodded. I could see Meena observing us keenly.

“You can have my notes if you like.” you said.

“Thanks.” I said and took your notes.

Later on I told myself, getting late someday isn’t so bad after all.

Day seven

I miss you a lot. I don’t understand why such a long vacation. In school it is alright, but, I don’t think we need that long in college. There in college, I always longed for vacation. I thought I was going to have an interesting vacation this time around- both of us will be in Ziro. But no, you only want me to suffer, you preffered Guwahati to Ziro.

I have been to your granma this morning thinking you might have come. But before I enquired her about you she asked me when you are coming. I told her you are coming very soon. Why don’t you come to see you granma, at least. Moreover, Ziro is its pristine form: the greenery has covered the entire valley, you won’t find such an exotic beauty of nature- pleasant to eyes and solace for spirit, anywhere during the months of June, July and August.

Day eight

Minnie, you would think I am kidding, but it is true.

This afternoon I was sitting alone in park, lost in your thought, when a man in saffron robe stood beside me and said, “Why are you worrying about her? She is made for you.”

This old man was one of the so-called fortune-tellers roaming here and there in search of customer. You know they are seasonal visitors- nowadays men and women in saffron robe are frequent sight of the town.

I do not believe these fortune-tellers, but the man who was standing before me amazed me by reading my thought. I felt interested. I asked him if he could tell me more about our future. He nodded and asked me to put 25 Rupees, in the name of his guru, in a small box where a photo of his guru was pasted. He asked my name, jotted down few things on a piece of paper and looked at my face intently. Then he asked me your name and jotted down few things as well. “What a match!” he said. “You have very good future. You will have lot of kids…” He looked at the paper for sometime and continued, “However, you need to prevent yourselves from those envious eyes – envious eyes could spell doom to any relationship. Only if you believe me – I’ve got a ring, a divine ring, which can neutralize the ill effects of the envious eyes. This ring is a fruit of long meditation of my revered guru Baba Goodnathji Swamiji of Banaras. It costs just 150 Rupees.” He held out the ring to my hand.

Would this ring have such a miraculous effect really sounded funny! I thought it was superstition. But my silly heart said, “May be this man is right. May be this is a scientific fact yet to be established.” I purchased the ring from him; I could not risk my love be ruined by someone’s envious eyes just to show that I am very modern.

Now I have the ring with me and I know this is really a wonderful thing – the sight of it gives me a feeling of relief.

Day nine

Today I went to Hilltop to visit one of my friends. He was not at home. Thinking nowhere to go, I climbed the stair that leads to Shiva temple. When I reached there, no one was there. It was so peaceful out there and the idol of Lord Shiva was looking so serene. Just then you came into my mind.

I don’t know how it happened; I was praying in my heart of hearts: “Lord, if my love for Minnie is true and if she can be happy with me let her become mine. But, if there is someone else who loves her more dearly and with whom she can be happier, then let her go to him. In that case, give me the courage to face the disappointment.”

Later on, I cursed myself for praying like this. I should have rather asked for you at any cost. I cannot live without you, but something within me feels Lord Shiva hears my prayer.

Day ten

Papa must have thought that I have become very obedient. He asked me to go to Guwahati to do a piece of work for him to which I agreed readily. It was such a good chance to meet you, how can I miss it.

The last afternoon, when I got into the bus to leave for Guwahati, it was one of my happiest moments in my life. But the journey seemed to be the longest I ever travelled, for I wanted to reach you quickly.

This morning, after a long journey, I was here to meet you. I threw my luggage into the room (Papa booked for me) in a hotel and followed my legs which took me straight to your house. On the way I was thinking happily- how happy you will be when you see me here, and how I would tell you how much I love you. At least, I shall be able to hand you the letter I wrote long back before this vacation. I knocked the door and your little sister, Munu, opened the door for me. She told me you left for Ziro, to see your granma, the last evening.

I was very disappointed. I tried hard to hide my disappointment from Munu. She is such a great speaker- she went on talking and kept me amused for quite sometime. Meanwhile, she delighted me by telling me that you spoke of me very often and, thus, I don’t seemed to be a stranger to her. May be, seeing the dejected look of mine, she intentionally told me a sweet lie to keep my heart. May be or may not be- I shall not give another thought on this.

Sadly, I’m staying here another two days before I go back to Ziro and see you.

Day eleven

Damn to my mind, which didn’t think of you for such a long time. One whole month- I was alive, but I didn’t remember you, not even once. See how I’m proved wrong! I thought I would never be able to spend a single day without thinking of you all my life.

Mama told me, I was boarding a bus for Ziro at Guwahati’s Inter State Bus Terminus when a powerful bomb explode and killed 20 odd people on the spot and 60 odd people severely injured who were rushed to hospitals. I’m one of few lucky survivors. I remained in coma for 30 days.

When I came to sense the last evening, I found my two legs unable to move. On my insistence one resident doctor hesitantly told me that 80 out of 100 my legs would be amputated.

According to the media reports, the investigation suggested that the blast was carried out by a coordinated effort of some militant outfits active in Northeast India. Look at my fate! I had a soft corner for these people; I thought Northeast is being grossly neglected by the New Delhi and these people are fighting for our bright future. I’m here- made a burden to my parents in their old age.

God seems to take delight in the agony of a son and the helplessness of parents. Mama is crying all the time. Papa is doing whatever he can- he is always in touch with doctors. A little while ago I heard Papa telling Mama “He’ll be alright…if not here… I’ll take him to the best hospital anywhere in the world… I will…” I could not hold myself; I covered myself with a cloth and wept silently. Just then I felt something in my shirt pocket- it was the letter- the one I brought here to give you. I took it out, crumbled it with my left hand and quietly dropped into the waste bin underneath my bed.

A Big Boy

It was the fifth day on trot; the strike of the Workers’ Union of Ziro was on and there was no water supply in the town. It created lots of inconvenience to the town-folk, every body was complaining. Mama would bring water from a well, some hundred metresaway from home, while Papa and I were lying asleep. We always found water ready for us when we got up. We would wash and bathe unaware of the difficulty with which she brought water. Papa would go to his work and I would go to school, in time. There was no occasion for us to complain. This morning I woke up at five, much earlier than I used to. Mama was already in kitchen with her chores. She seemed delighted to see me waking up. She asked me, from there in the kitchen- without moving, just turning her head towards me, if I could bring a bucket of water from the well. I happily took two buckets in hands and went off. I loved to obey my parents- may be they did not gave me too many works to do, that is why. In fact, I cannot say no, even if I wanted to, especially when Mama made such a polite request. I walked merrily, whistling and swinging the buckets, on my way. It was a pleasant morning. Cool, fresh air was breezing past. Everyone seemed to be so nice- the girls and boys, I walked past, were smiling at me. I did not know walking out early in the morning could be so delightful. I should wake up early more often, I told myself. “To collect water, Obing?” It was Tajang. I nodded. He was jogging with Taka. They too were smiling at me. Suddenly I smelled a rat in their smiling faces. Before long I overheard Taka whispering into Tajang’s ear, “Like a girl, isn’t he?” Now I knew why Nanya and Yakang were smiling. They were standing in verandah, looking at me and talking in whispers. And, finally, I reached the well to find the place overcrowded with women and girls, all struggling for water- each trying to draw water first. “Hi Ronya,” I greeted my classmate who had just drawn water and was coming towards me. “Hi!” She jumped for me. “What a surprise, what are you doing here?” I looked at the buckets in my hands and felt like fool. Before I said anything, she said “Oh… To collect water?” “Why, what’s the wrong with that?” I could see she sensed the harshness of my voice. “Nothing wrong with that…” she said politely “Actually, it’s so odd to see boy of your age come here to collect water. If you don’t mind, leave the buckets here I’ll carry water to your home.” “Thanks a lot.” I said, forcing myself to sound polite. “That’s very nice of you…but I’ll manage it.” “Ok. See you” she said and went her way home. I was standing where Ronya left me. All sort of conflicting thoughts were making riots in my head. Why people don’t mind their own business? What’s wrong in obeying parents? I was angry with everyone, more so at Mama, who told me so easily, so carelessly as to bring water from the well. What did she thinks of me? I was not a girl. I was not a servant either. I was a son of respectable parents. Moreover, I was no longer a small kid. I was now a big boy and to carry water home from well was not a proper thing for me. Such task was only suited for girls, women, servants and to some extent younger boys, certainly not for a decent big boy like me. Angrily, I dropped the buckets where I was standing. I went back home empty handed and disturbed in spirit, ready to speak back in most impolite of words, if Mama dare suggest that it was unworthy of me not to do her a small favour. There came Mama limping out of kitchen. I could see her right foot swelling all over. I wanted to ask her what had happened to her foot, but found myself fumbling with words. “Have you brought water, Obing?” she said. I was still fumbling with words. She looked at me and then said, “It’s ok. It’s very rush out there at this time… I brought some early this morning… if not for that ladder…it has to fell on my foot… I would have brought more. We’ll manage from what we have.” “Mama” I could say, at last “You should rest your foot and put some ointment.” “It’s fine- just a little bit of swelling… where have you left the buckets?” “There… I left them with Ronya to draw up water. I came here to see if there are some more empty buckets.” “That’s very sweet. Just bring those. You have to get ready for school.” I felt so sorry. I sped back to the well to bring water.

Encounter the King of Ghosts

It was a foggy night. I was on my way to home from my friend. The road was hardly visible but for the moonlight; the street lamps were not lit. A dead silence prevailed there. As I moved on, I expected the ghosts to appear any moment, from across the fences, above the branches of trees or grabbed me from behind. I felt as if my head was becoming bigger and bigger in size and my hair straightened up.

I tried my magic formula. I usually use my magic formula whenever I found myself alone in dark and fearful thought haunts me: SING AS LOUD AS I COULD. I sang very loudly and my voice was echoing into my ears. Singing broke the stillness but the dread of ghosts was still there. The stories of ghosts and evil spirits that I had heard from my grand mother were haunting me.

The stories I had heard were coming alive in my head, my song was echoing and I was walking in the middle of the road with my eyes looking straight. Now I could see my house not far away, still the dread was there.

Suddenly, I heard someone yelling after me, “Aye boy, listen!” Then after a pause, “Come here. Look what I have? I’ll give it to you just sing a song for me.”

When I heard the voice, I stopped trembled of fear. But I gathered up my courage and turned towards the direction of the voice. What did I see? I saw a monstrous creature, holding a long wooden log, coming towards me. There was no doubt that he was a ghost. “This seems too big for an ordinary ghost”, I told myself. “He must be the king of ghosts.”

I showered at the king of ghosts with stones and rock pieces- whatever I could gather from the ground, and then sped off –running and tumbling- till finally I sensed that I was home. I was frightened and breathing rapidly. I couldn’t say anything for quite sometime. “What’s the matter? Why are you looking so frightened? Obing, what’s the wrong?” Mama was asking me. She looked very worried. I told her what I had seen.

“This is because you don’t return home in time and put your Mama and me in trouble.” Said Papa without even turning his face towards me; he was watching news channel on TV. I encountered the king of ghosts. I was dead frightened. But Papa thought it was some kind of joke and very funny. I hated him for that.

An argument started between Mama and Papa after dinner.

“From last couple of days” said Mama knowing very well that Papa would not take seriously what she was going to say, “I’m seeing bad dreams. I already told you this morning. Now Obing has also seen a ghost. This is not a good omen. We must consult our family priest. You know…”

“I don’t know” said Papa interrupting her. He looked little upset. This was not the first time Mama made up her mind to argue with him about bad omen, bad dreams and things like that. “I don’t know anything about your bad dreams, bad omen –modern women talking about such stupid things. As for what Obing has seen, it could be just an illusion. The other day you open the window under moonlight and a cloth hanging on the rope appears to you a lady in white rag in first sight. These things happen and …” He picked up the telephone without completing his sentence and asked the priest to come the next morning. He knew he can not convince Mama come what may.

The next day, early in the morning, I was woken up by the chanting of sacred hymns by the priest. He was holding an egg each in the both hands. The egg in the left hand was marked with black carbon soot. The chanting continued for few minutes. In this way the priest made enquiries of two groups of spirits in the world of spirits which he suspect was causing the trouble. After the chanting was over, the eggs were boiled in water. The priest took out the eggs after sometime, cut eggs in middle and started looking for signs in the yolk which give him the idea what was causing the trouble.

The priest lit up and smiled after seeing the sign in the egg marked with carbon soot.. “Just as I had suspected” he said. “Now everything is going to be alright” he continued. “Two full grown hens and a cock are required for the rite.” Then he asked Papa to arrange some bamboo for the preparation of altar. Announcing that the rite will be started by 10 this morning, he left the house.

Papa too left for bamboo garden. Just as Mama and I were sitting by the fireplace an old man entered the room. He was Aku Tani, a nice old man –he was very fond children. I could see he had fallen somewhere or had a fight with his wife the last night for a bandage was tied round his head and there were some wounds on his face as well. Mama made him sit by the other side of the fireplace. She offered him a mug of rice beer. “What happened to your head and face? Fallen somewhere or what?” she asked him.

“No. It was that rascal boy” he said. “Last night there was no power supply, so I went out in the moonlight wearing black woolen shawl of mine. I walked around for a while and sat down in the roadside, leaning against a lamp post. Just then I saw a young boy passing by me, singing loudly. I yelled out to him and asked him to sing a song for me. Do you know what he did? He showered at me with stones and rock pieces and ran away.” Now he took a long sip of the rice beer and looked at me suspiciously. “He was of his age -8, 9 years may be.”

“You don’t mean it was Obing?” Mama said interrupting him in middle.

“No,” he said, still looking at me –looking up and down. “It was dark and foggy out there. I could not see the face clearly. If I find him, that rascal boy, I’ll break his hands and cut his ears and put them into his mouth.”

As the old man went away, Mama looked at my blushed face and smiled. It was so embarrassing; I had mistaken that good old man to be the king of ghosts and wounded him so badly. “What about the rite, the hens and the cock?” I asked Mama.

“It’s alright.” She patted on my back and said. “We can’t do anything now.”
□□

The Prettiest Girl

I knew for sure that the world has never been short of pretty girls, so much so that I wondered if there could be a girl - the prettiest. From my earliest recollection, when I was in the first standard, I thought one girl of my class to be the prettiest. But the very next year she was not for a new girl had joined my class who looked prettier. It so happened naturally: prettier and prettier girls have been presented before me by the time. And it was not surprising, a month or two ago I saw a girl prettier than I had seen so far – the prettiest. Was it love, lust or mere attraction, I longed to see her again.

I did not know her name and her whereabouts, but I was determined to find her. However, the sad point in it was that I did not have the courage to ask for an elderly advice from some elderly man regarding this matter. I asked myself, “How shall I find her?”

“You fool,” said my inner voice, “Use your head. What was she holding in her hand when you saw her? Remember.”

“Book,” I said.

“What kind of book?”

“Novel, I think.” I said.

“That’s the point,” said my inner voice. “That means she must be fond of reading - she may come to library or bookshop.”

So, I lingered around the bookshops for couple of days. Then I went to library. I would stay there all day long, hopefully, for several days. But there was no news of her. On the seventh day, the librarian who had been watching me suspiciously all these days came close by me and said, “Boy you read nothing – walking about the bookshelves all the day, what you are up to?”

“Nothing Sir,” I replied. “I simply watch the books. ?>Reading doesn’t interest me. Watching the book is my hobby you know. It gives me so much pleasure.”

I returned home tired and hopeless. “Nothing to discourage,” said my inner voice. “Try another method. You say she is in slimmer side and has got good physique?”

“Yes,” I said.

“This type of girls are fond of fresh air – may be you see her going for morning walk.”

It was not a bad idea. On the following mornings, although I happened to be a late riser, I would manage to get up very early and set out for morning walk sometimes around Para-Line, sometimes Gurudwara Colony, sometimes Hilltop colony, sometimes Pai Gate and so on. But I could not find her anywhere.

I was going to turn my deaf ear to the adviser inside me. But, now it gave me such a brilliant suggestion that I was tempted to try once more. “Nothing can stop you from seeing her,” said my inner voice. “She is a student she will go to school.”

There were two schools (those days) where she could study – one was Government Secondary School and the other Government Higher Secondary School. I planned my strategy and chose to try it at Government Secondary School, first. I would stand by the gate of the school like a gatekeeper and kept my eyes on every person who passed through it. When I did not see her in spite of standing there for three successive days, every morning and afternoon, I tried at Government Higher Secondary School.

The time went so soon. My vacation had ended and I was sitting on the bus waiting for it to leave. Now I realised how dull my summer vacation would have been had it not for that pretty girl! How grateful I felt for her! She had turned me into an early riser and turned my dull vacation into an exciting one. However, deep inside me I was frustrated. Longing for her grew stronger; I climbed the bus with heavy heart.


I thought it was the end of the world. Unless I find her out, my life seemed to be full of darkness. But I was wrong. The wheel of fate does turn. Surprisingly this time it turned for me rather quickly. At the end of the journey, when train stopped at New Delhi railway station, I saw someone and with that very sight, my moment of frustration was over. I saw a girl prettier than the one I saw in vacation waiting for me. She came there to say good-bye to one of her friend. I just thought she was waiting for me because we became friend that very minute at that very place. I knew she was everything to me. I liked her from toes to hairs. I thanked God for hiding that girl of vacation from me. Who knows what silly promises I might have made to her had I found her out. It would have caused unending misery to find my dream girl waiting for me.

Now by the grace of God, the moment of frustration was over, I was happy and my life was full of sunshine. Of course, I did not expect to see any prettier girl. I was praying in my heart of hearts “God, no prettier girl, please.”